Monthly Archives: December 2018

My story

A little bit of my personal story that I want to share with you! it took me years to be able to share it! This is just the beginning, More to come… …

-When I started my business I had no idea what I was doing.

I was confused and really scared. My number one fear was my dream would fail and people wouldn’t like me. I thought nobody would like my food, my personality and my house. My low self-esteem and lack of belief in myself stemmed from my family. I grew up surrounded by people that did everything possible to make me feel I was never good enough and convinced me that something was wrong with me.

I lived in the shadows of my family in Naples because I was an unwanted child, and for my entire childhood, my grandma and my biological dad made me feel guilty for even being born. I was told I was a shame to their family. Their lack of love and support continues to this day well into my adulthood.

But, the difference with yesterday and today is that I believe in myself and feel strong enough to share my story in the hopes it helps someone else believe in themselves.

The crime I committed was being the child born of an affair between my mother and a married man. My mom was just 16 and my biological father was a grown man married with kids of his own. Back then in Naples, when my grandmother found out, it was a big scandal. When my mom got pregnant, my grandmother forced her to leave the house and hide her pregnancy and then marry a stranger after I was born. What happened was considered an unforgivable crime and my grandma decided to not tell my grandpa and his side of the family that I existed.

The lies and shame continued. My grandma told my grandpa that their daughter was getting married to a widow that already had a daughter: me. My grandpa and his family never found out that I was part of their family. They all thought that my biological mother was dead and my mom was my stepmom. And for a long time I didn’t know the truth either.

For my entire life I was poorly treated. I don’t know how to explain how mean few people of my family in Naples were.I was treated like a second-class citizen and I always felt like a big secret. The only exception was my grandpa. He treated me like gold and I think inside him he knew the truth. He was my lifeline while growing up.

My biological dad was and still is a really mean human being { by the way is from Sant’ Antimo} He is a big liar and the cruelest person you can ever imagine. When he found out that my mom got married and left Naples to go to live up north he decided to look for her and me … unfortunately.

When I was five or six, I had to meet him. I was ok without him, my mom and stepdad had other kids and I was happy. I remember he used to call me every day. I had no idea who he was and the only thing I knew is that I had to talk with him because it was what “he wanted.” He was always polite and really nice and always telling me nice things. One day when I was eight he asked me, “Do you know who I am?” Of course I said no. I actually said, “You are probably one of my uncles from Naples” and with his ego he replied, “I’m your father my love, the real one.”

I was so confused for so many years. My mom eventually explained everything to me and from that moment I had to meet this person every time I was in Naples and every time he wanted to come to see me up north. But we had one rule: nobody was allowed to see us and know about our secret meetings. Our meetings had to remain secret! He had a wife and other children of his own who knew I existed, but to this day, my biological siblings have never accepted me as their blood relative.

At the age of 17 or 18, the monster decided to dump me like a garbage bag. One day, like usual, I called him and he said to me, “Who are you? Who is this? I don’t know any Marzia, you are a liar, do not call me anymore. You mom is a liar and your dad is someone else.”

I don’t want to explain what happened to my personality after this because it will be too long. It took me few sessions of therapy and lots of love from my husband to come out from that mess. Unfortunately the monster is still out there living with his lies. Luckily I grew up in North Italy and my stepdad, my mom and my siblings treated me well! They are my family.

I know I could make my biological dad life difficult, but I decided to keep my dignity and let go. I have a loving and supporting family. I live in a great community. I have wonderful clients and friends. The only thing that I really want is to tell the truth about my story to everyone in the hopes it might help someone else believe in themselves and their dreams.

I feel so incredibly lucky to live in this amazing county. I have been living here for 15 years and if I could go back in time, I would do it again! I lived in Italy for 30 years and was unloved, humiliated, and unwanted.

My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me. He has guided me for all these years in the right way. He has filled my heart with love everyday. He and his family made me feel part of the family right away. My mother in law treated me like gold until the day she died. Sometimes I ask myself why someone so nice, loving and caring had to suffer so much and leave us all behind and then people like the monster are still out there living their lives.

My cooking classes and the love I receive from each of one of you gives me the confidence that I have today. I feel so loved and lucky to open my little kitchen to so many nice people. Each of you will stay in my heart forever. I’m so proud of the Business Excellence award that I won recently from the Greater Langley Chamber of Commerce.

I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished personally and professionally and I hope that my story inspires more people like me that were mentally abused. If there is someone in your life that treats you badly or that doesn’t love you, just walk away. You deserve better and if you believe in yourself you can do great things. You deserve to shine. Everything is possible if you believe in yourself.

#believeinyouself #MammaMarziaStory #bellacibostory #Thetruthisout #Imbecoming